This shall be my longest post. Well, Yesterday was the 49th day of since my dad passed away, as in the Chinese tradition on the 49th day will be the particular day that mark the end of grievances which was compulsory to give prayings at the temple. His picture and his tablet name were burnt along with murmurs of chantings and praying papers with incense.The atmosphere was extremely still, no one dared to speak a word yet emotions still lingers. Initially, we thought we can get over it as it has been more than a month, however it seems that time still needed for us to heal. With great longing of love, especially my mum who teared after everything was burnt in the big charcoal inn, it was an unbearable pain. No one will understand the pain of sudden leave from your love ones, the sudden death that takes everyone unprepared, the terrifying loneliness that no one will understand unless they experienced it. The fast lightning of leaving away, just a snap and then gone just like that, even though there were illness however no one will ever think that it will just end like that within a few hours. It was indeed a painful scene to just see a perfectly healthy man - a samitarian who always listen, think, and smile with no complaints yet being wise and gentleman, from the weight of 79kg but as months goes by with just 59 kg and ended up with bones in the ceramic ash container. Yes, It was extremely disheartening for those who loved him. To just conclude, his pace of leaving was just too fast, that till now I still can’t get over it. Though almost all of us will say that “Life is unpredictable, death will meet us anytime.” however there is one part of our conscious mind that remain “unaware” that death will meet us soon which resulted being unprepared of such great loss.

After everything ended with simplicity of praying, our emotions were shaped back as normal, ” Life goes on” - The usual common sentence, preferably a social norm for me. Of course, everyone will get back in shape, just that the measure of time matters to heal the wound up. Besides, Life is filled with ups and downs, but the matter of such ups and downs depends of the pace that we walk this path. In the path of life, people will judge you, well no one will understand fully 100% of your character, heck with it;  know who you are will be the best policy, even your closest friend or family will not understand fully of your character, everyone just learn through their assumption and conclude from the characters they only  perceive visually that resulting such external criticism. Just do what you think is right, when others assume wrongly, be ignorant and continue the pace in your life. Be wise -The pace, the speed that matters it all, if is too fast then others who love you might not able to keep up with the pace, if is too slow then others will overtake you. All we have to do is balance up our pace - learn when to look around and care, and not to just look upfront. Chill a little, balance it up and not just achieve better regardless of anything, but you must make sure that 100% full force of effort putting it in truly matters regardless of academics, love or career ; not just “KNOW” but “LEARN” with a 100% full force of effort and be brave to love, learn to cherish, learn to love yourself, and keep going on. :)